Letting Go

One of the coolest things that ever happened to me was becoming a "dad". I remember it just like it was yesterday... well, maybe a week ago yesterday. My wife and I were just 22 years old, married less than two years, and we were in the delivery room watching this monitor as the contractions became more frequent. I remember how nervous I was... was I ready to be a daddy?

I also remember it was on a Saturday, which meant college football was on and that birthing room was equipped with a really nice recliner and at least a 37 inch TV. I no more sat down and turned on the game, hoping it would take my mind off the fact that my life was about to change in ways I couldn't imagine, when the nurse announced, "She's ready!!" She may have been... I wasn't.

I fell in love with a little girl that day. She was perfect... and beautiful! But that goes without saying.

I thought, "This is awesome! I wonder how soon we can have another one!" Well, apparently the answer to that was almost eight years. That's when the "littleman" came along.

But now, almost 21 years later, I'm nervous again. The older she gets the harder it is to let her go. I firmly believe that she needs to have the latitude to make her own decisions. It's just not easy for me to accept that some of those decisions will turn into mistakes. I've made enough of those in my life. I don't want my kids to have to go through what I did.

She still lives at home and goes to college, but now home is just the place where she sleeps and occasionally eats. I miss the days when I would come home from the office and she would greet me at the door with open arms yelling "daddy, daddy"! Now if she happens to be home when I come in I'm lucky to get a "hey". And then it's, "Dad! Tell me you didn't wear that to the office." Yep, that's my girl!

I say all this because I know some of you have children or will have children one day. Whatever you do, don't get tired of them wanting to sit in your lap. Don't overlook the butterfly kisses. Don't despise the times you have to lay down with them while they go to sleep. Man do I miss those times.


Blessings,
Heavy D